She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
