Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
