Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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