And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
