I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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