they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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