Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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