Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need to calm my uterus...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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