i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
