Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
