its not stalking. its research.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
