jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
