I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
