i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
