what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize