It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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