I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
