He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
