your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
