Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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