ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
