I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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