How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
