good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
