well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
