I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
