Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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