We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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