Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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