Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
