Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
