Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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