? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Randomize
