i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
