WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
