totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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