Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
