Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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