I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize