your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
