Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
