I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
