i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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