I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
