so explain again why im purple
no
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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