the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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