My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
