Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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