Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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