Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
