She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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