I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
