i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
