If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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