I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
