i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We left the knife in your bed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
