I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
