Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
