2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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