She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
