yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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